don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
