just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
