I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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