Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
