I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
