are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
