Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
