So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
