Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
