My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
