apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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