sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
