I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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