I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
