Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
