All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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