just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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