Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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