Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
