she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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