Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think a kid would responsible me up
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
