Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize