I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
