I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
