I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
