I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
