When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
