Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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