I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
