a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize