Got a toothbrush?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
