There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
