I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No more Irish car bombs ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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