no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
