He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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