Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
