how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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