I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize