Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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