I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
