i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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