I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
