Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
