Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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