i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
