Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
