I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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