i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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