I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
