Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
