So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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