Cold hands, warm shart.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner