If i come over, it means nothing
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
