...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
