i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
