I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
