his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
