pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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