I heard we made out
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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