You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
