Sorry, I don't speak sober.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
