Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
